Imagine you're walking around in a protective bubble. Sounds a bit sci-fi, right? But this bubble is your personal space, your sphere of influence. Now, what happens when you let that bubble collapse?
Ever wonder what to do with your hands during a high-stakes meeting or presentation? 👋 You're not alone. It's a common question I get in my workshops.
Ever had one of those days where nothing seems to go right? You fluff a presentation or miss a sales target. It's easy to get down on yourself, but here's a different perspective: embrace the failure.
Ever find yourself stuck in a cycle of negative thoughts? You're not alone. We all have those limiting beliefs that hold us back, whether it's thinking we're not good enough, smart enough, or charismatic enough to achieve our goals. But here's the kicker: these beliefs are often self-imposed.
I’m often asked by people how they can have more “presence” for me the answer is very simple, make sure you’re “in the moment”, not connected to something that has just happened or to something that’s coming up in the future. In this video I share a simple tool that I use to help me create moments of true presence everyday.
Put it into practice and let me know how you get on in the comments box below.
Keep shining!
Dominic
I shed an unexpected tear yesterday. The news of Sir Terry Wogan’s death hit me in a surprising way. He was someone that I respected as a broadcaster but I would never have categorised myself as a “fan”. Whilst I have fond memories of watching Children In Need as a kid, I was never a religious listener to his radio programme and I have only vague recollections of his television chat show. Yet, somehow, without me ever realising it he had connected with me. As I read about his passing, I felt sad. Just weeks before, I had had the same experience on hearing the news about David Bowie and Alan Rickman. A sense of loss, a feeling of grief, a tangible connection to people that I had never met. What was it that had moved me? Why did I have such a strong emotional reaction? I’ve been mulling it over for the last 24 hours and I think it comes down to one thing. Resonance.
If I think of all three men, not only do I see their faces but I can hear their voices. All three had unique and distinct tones that were unmistakably them. Through their sound they were able to connect and that connection bound them to their audience. This might all sound a bit “new age” but the reality is much more scientific. When we speak we are simply sending waves of sound towards our audience, which hit the tiny bones in the inner ear and are then decoded by the listener and interpreted for meaning. All this takes a split second but the impact is much longer lasting. Send boring sound waves and you are likely to be forgotten. Send something more unusual or exciting and your message will land.
We talk of ideas “resonating” with us. On a very basic, animalistic level, I think that means that we literally feel their vibrations. The message is felt in our hearts. So, having a rich, resonate voice is important if you want to really connect with your audience. There’s a reason that they used a soft husky voice on those M&S food adverts for example. If the narrator had a sharp, nasal tone, you would be much less likely to dream about the melt-in-the-middle Belgium chocolate pudding that was appearing on your screen!
Resonance is something that we can develop, some voices have more natural resonance than others but it is a skill that can be worked on. There are simple exercises that you can practice to increase it. However, fundamentally, the trick is to get comfortable with allowing the voice and your message to be heard. Not holding it in – keeping your ideas close to your chest – but being generous and willing to share. I think often we judge the sound that we make. Allowing yourself to be heard can make you feel vulnerable but it is in those moments of vulnerability where you truly connect to your audience. You move past the exchange of ideas and into something more intimate and exciting. Wogan, Rickman and Bowie are all great examples of performers that could take their audience on a journey, who’s unique voices instantly transported us and who’s messages spoke to our emotions.
Terry Wogan’s poignant parting words to the listeners of his final breakfast show in 2009 have been replayed and quoted many times in the last 24 hours. Simple and powerful they spoke directly to the heart. “Thank you. Thank you for being my friend.”… Imagine if all businesses had that level of relationship with their customers… That, my friends, is the power of resonance.
Keep shining
Dominic
I love learning and personal development. The bookshelves in my office are crammed with books on goal setting, productivity, creating successful habits and various other “lofty” topics. I have an Amazon Wishlist containing 164 business books I would like to read and my Kindle is littered with half completed manuscripts that I have mined for pertinent content and then cast aside. My problem isn’t appetite for knowledge, it’s retention. I have discovered that whilst I am digesting new information at a rate of knots, I am failing to hang on to the majority of it. I thought I was “OK” at remembering stuff. The reality is, I am not! I have never thought of my ability to learn as an issue but as I work hard to take my life and business to the next level, to push the boundaries of what I think I am capable of, I realise that I need to get some help, I need to develop some new skills. So, I’ve enrolled myself on a SuperLearner course and I’m learning how to rewire my brain to help me remember more and increase my reading speed. I’m determined to make a dent in that massive reading list!
It’s easy to go through life being “OK”, to stay within our comfort zone. The reality is however that if we want to grow, if we want to achieve our dreams, our New Year’s Resolutions, if we want to reach our full potential we have to push for more. We have to move past “OK” and aim for greatness. In my work as a trainer and a coach I meet so many people who say they’re “OK” at communication, that their presentation skills are “fine”, “not something I need to work on”. If I film them presenting and ask them to watch their performance, suddenly the reality is very different. Very quickly they come to realise that something that hadn’t seemed like a problem before, is actually holding them back from what they were trying to achieve. They realise that they don’t currently have the level of skill necessary to consistently win the pitch, inspire the team, get the promotion or whatever else it is they are looking to do. It’s not that they’re bad, it’s just at best they’re “OK”.... The moment they realise that “OK” isn’t good enough, they are able to move forward. Awareness is the key.
As human being’s we’re quick to defend ourselves, to protect ourselves from criticism. We don’t like to make ourselves vulnerable. However, unless we can be truly objective and honest about our current situation, we will find it almost impossible to achieve our goals.
I’m bad at remembering stuff and I’m a pretty slow reader. I am learning skills to change that. What’s holding you back and what are you going to do about it?
Keep shining!
Dominic
It’s been a busy few weeks. Since November 1st I’ve been up and down the East Coast Mainline more times than I care to remember, delivered 10 days of training for a total of 152 delegates, been photographed for a magazine feature, run my first ever webinar, compered a 3-day conference for 300 people and won a small business award. The most exciting thing of all though, has been meeting and working with three of my heroes. This month I’ve been lucky enough to spend time with Sir Clive Woodward (World Cup winning rugby coach), Richard Reed (founder of, in my opinion, one of the coolest companies in the UK, Innocent Smoothies) and Daniel Priestly (author of the best selling books Key Person of Influence, Entrepreneur Revolution and Oversubscribed).
When I spoke with them, all three shared some amazing insights into business, performance and success, however the most striking thing for me was how evangelical all three of them were about the need to have a coach or mentor if you want to achieve your dreams.
When you think about it, it’s obvious. Look at any olympic athlete, premiership football team, Hollywood actor or FTSE 100 CEO, they all have coaches and mentors, people who can offer an outside perspective, help them to focus on the important tasks and ultimately enable them to perform at the top of their game. If you’ve ever been lucky enough to work with a personal trainer, you’ll know how much quicker you get the results you are looking for compared to turning up at the gym on your own, floating about from machine to machine and doing whatever exercises take your fancy.
Why is it then that so many “normal people” don’t see coaching as important and urgent? They see it as the icing on the cake rather than the foundation for success. So many business owners put off investing in themselves until they’re making more money – If a football club waited until they’d won a few games before they bothered getting a Manager, you’d think they were mad! So many companies offer their staff training if they hit their targets, rather than offering their staff training to make sure they hit their targets – If the GB cycling team had just gone out for a few practice rides whenever they felt like it and waited to employ Dave Brailsford and his team until after they’d won a few races, they would never have taken gold at London 2012. So many talented individuals wait to work on their “soft skills” until they get promoted – If Rene Zellweger had waited to get a voice coach to work on her English accent until after the Bridget Jones movie was a box office hit, there would have been no box office hit.
The “normal’ approach doesn’t work. Extraordinary people have a coach. It helps move the dial in the right direction. It holds you to account. It makes you show up as the best version of yourself. For the last twelve months I’ve been working with not one but three coaches and it’s been a complete game changer for me. There have been moments when I have questioned the financial investment. There have been moments when I’ve wanted to hide from their scrutiny. There have been moments when I felt like I was too busy to make time for our sessions. But ultimately it’s made me better at what I do. It’s helped me serve my own clients better and it’s enabled me to have a month like November.
The reality is that we don’t invest in a coach to learn a technique or a methodology, we invest in a coach to achieve a result. My one-to-one clients don’t come to me to improve their presentation skills and performance. Not really. They come to me to get more confidence, make more sales, become better leaders, achieve expert status, negotiate better deals and have more influence.
As we head into December it’s time to start reflecting on the year that’s past and planning for the year to come. Don’t just take my word for it… If you want to make 2016 your best year yet, listen to Sir Clive Woodward, Richard Reed and Daniel Priestly… Get a coach!
If you’re interested in finding out how you can work with me to kick start your year click HERE. If I’m not the right fit, that’s fine, I just urge you to get out there and find someone who is. You won’t regret it.
Keep shining!
Dominic
On Monday I overheard my daughter playing in her cot. She was completely engrossed in a magical world of her own creation. I put a short post about my observations on Facebook and my wall exploded. The need for us adults to engage our imaginations seemingly struck a chord.
Yesterday I spent the day teaching a group of engineers the art of storytelling. At first I worried that it might be a hard sell, too far removed from their world of facts and figures. I couldn’t have been more wrong. Their desire to play, to connect with each other on a simpler, more human level was inspirational.
So why is imagination important? And what are the creative lessons that we can take from the world of make-believe and the arts, that can help us succeed in business?
Stay Creative
It may seem obvious, and I’m sure someone else has said it more eloquently but if you can’t imagine something you will never create it. Our ability to envisage the future, to dream big, to think the impossible, is what separates human beings from other mammals and ultimately drives our society forward. Even 20 years ago not many people believed that space travel would be possible for the man on the street. Today, if you head on over to Richard Branson’s Virgin Galactic website you can complete an application form to become an astronaut! In just the last few weeks scientists at Penn University in the USA have been able to 3D print blood vessels. And Elon Musk’s Hyperloop technology has taken a massive step forward and could see us traveling to our destinations in specialised pods at the speeds of up to 760mph. The future is coming! But the only reason it’s coming is that people were brave enough to dream. To think creatively about the worlds problems and push the boundaries of what is possible. It’s easy to fall in repetitive patterns and assume that your situation or the things that you’re working on can’t change. Challenge your perception and ask yourself the magical question “What if…?”
Stay Flexible
I’ve written about the importance of staying flexible before. Our ability to adapt is key to our continued growth both individually and organisationally. When we allow our imaginations to run free something exciting happens. We open up a world of possibilities. We start to see options rather than obstacles. At drama school young actors learn to improvise, a incredibly vulnerable practice but one that can be incredibly liberating. One of the key rules of any successful improvisation is to “accept every offer”. You are taught not to block ideas but to run with them. No matter how odd a curve ball you get thrown, your job is to build on it rather than push back. That doesn’t always happen in “real life”. Human beings have an inbuilt negative bias, its a natural protection mechanism that’s designed to stop us getting eaten by sabre tooth tigers and other dangerous predators but it has no real function in the twenty first century workplace. Instead of saying “yes but….” to the next offer that comes your way, what would it be like to say “yes and….” instead?…
Stay Playful
To quote Plato “You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation”. When we play, we allow ourselves to connect. We let our guards down and become more human. Play helps us build relationships. Think back to your school days, I bet you can remember the kids who were on your sports team or in your orchestra better than the kids who were in your biology class. Why? Because through the collective experience of playing together, you created stronger bonds. Play is also fun. It provides variety, makes us feel good and boosts performance. When we take time out of the “norm” to do something different, we recharge our batteries. There’s a reason why Pixar animators can decorate their offices in any way they choose… What would happen if rather than looking at problems in a linear way, we were prepared to see them through the eyes of a child and play with them until we found a better solution?
The imagination is one of the most powerful tools in our tool kits but all too often it’s left rusting at the bottom of the bag. I believe that the more we engage with it and dare to use it, the more happy, successful and prosperous we will be.
I’d love to hear your observations about how the power of the imagination has impacted you or your business. Please feel free to share some magic in the comments box below ;-)
Keep shining, and creating and flexing and playing!
Dominic
I spent yesterday in the studio. That statement sounds very grand… the reality was somewhat more chaotic. The furniture in the office pushed against the walls, a white sheet erected for a back-drop, several lights cluttering the floor space and my iPhone 6 attached to a tripod to record the proceedings. Very soon you’ll be able to judge the results for yourselves as I start releasing the videos on YouTube but I’m amazed at what can be achieved using such a simple set up. In fact the resolution of the finished product will be significantly higher than the footage I have from an episode of Doctors I shot for the BBC 10 years ago. It’s amazing how far technology has come!
Being in front of the camera is something that feels quite natural for me now. It’s something I’ve been doing for a long time. But it wasn’t always that way. The first time I did it, I was absolutely petrified. I’d had the amazing good fortune to be cast in a big budget BBC period drama called The Lost Prince which was directed by the legendary Stephen Poliakoff. In the cast were some of Britain’s finest actors, Michael Gambon, Miranda Richardson, Tom Hollander, Bill Nighy and me… 20 years old, completely new to television and desperate not to make a fool of myself!
As I stepped up to shoot my first scene I was a nervous wreck. All the main cast were there along with about 200 extras! The pressure was huge. My lines kept flying out of my head and I just couldn’t remember what I was meant to say next. My hands were shaking and my voice felt tight. The camera was rolling and the director shouted “Action!”. A complete jumbled mess came streaming from my mouth. “Cut!” I heard Stephen cry and we reset to shoot again. I was mortified. The second take was no better. What was I going to do? It was Michael Gambon that broke the ice. All of a sudden he burst out laughing, stood up and started clapping!! He could see that I was struggling and came to my rescue offering words of reassurance. I instantly relaxed, smiled, took a deep breath and the third take was word perfect. That first TV job taught me so much about how to work on camera and I’ve been lucky enough to learn many valuable lessons throughout my career, so I thought I’d use this blog to quickly share my top 5 tips.
1. Don’t take yourself too seriously
This was my major take-away from that first challenging experience in front of the camera. The more I worried about what other people were thinking of me the worse I performed. It’s easy to become very self-conscious and serious when you’re looking down the lens. Try to stay playful and give yourself a break. The beauty of digital cameras is that you can do as many takes as you need to get the right footage, so don’t worry about getting it right first time.
2. It’s all in the eyes
The eyes are the windows to the soul and this is especially true on camera. The lens has an amazing ability to pick up on your emotion and we tend to see it in the eyes. Think happy thoughts and the eyes sparkle on screen. If you’re feeling sad or tired the eyes will seem dull and lifeless. Make sure that your mental state matches your objective when speaking on camera. If you want your audience to be excited and inspired by your message, you need to be completely energised. If you’re not, they’ll see it in your eyes.
3. Warm up your face
When we’re in a room talking to someone they can normally see our whole body. When we’re speaking on camera they normally only get to see our head. This mean’s all the extra information conveyed in our body language needs to be channeled into our facial expression. I’m not suggesting for a second that you start gurning or doing strange things with your lips to get your audience’s attention but you do need to make sure everything is alive and warmed up. There are a staggering 42 muscles in the face, so having a stretch, blowing through the lips and screwing everything up before you go on camera will make sure the lens really captures your emotion and gets your message across.
4. Treat the camera like a friend
It’s important to remember that when you look directly down the lens of a camera you are looking straight into the eyes of your audience. To make the connection between you and the viewer really strong, the best piece of advice I was ever given was to imagine that you are talking to a friend. If you treat the camera as if it is someone you like and trust, that will come across in what the audience sees. It’s a really simple technique to implement and it makes a massive difference to your performance.
5. Don’t be afraid to go off script
Obviously if you’re acting in a big budget feature film this tip isn’t really an option (unless the director gives you permission) but when we’re making videos in order to connect with and serve our audience sometimes a full script can make things too rigid. If you’re not experienced in the actor’s art of bringing word off the page, you can often come across as wooden or stilted. In my experience it’s much better to sketch out a few bullet points that you want to talk about and use the other 4 tips above to bring them to life. There’s something about an “off the cuff” video that gives you real credibility and builds trust with the audience. So, next time you’re tempted to write the whole things out, take a risk and shoot from the hip instead. I guarantee that the results will be more authentic and engaging.
I hope you found these tips useful and would love to hear any other things you do to come across like a pro on screen, so leave your comments in the box below or tweet me @dominiccolenso.
Good luck with your videos.
Keep shining!
Dominic
Today has been an exciting day at In Flow HQ. We’ve had a planning and strategy session devoted to looking towards the future. It’s been really illuminating and one thing it has made me reconsider is my “role” within the business. As an entrepreneur and business owner it’s easy to want (and sometime need) to be involved in every little detail. However, today brought home to me how important it is to identify where you should take the lead and where you should give others the spotlight in order to improve the company’s performance.
The idea of “inhabiting a role” is something I would previously only have associated with my career as an actor but the more I think about it, the more I see how applicable it is to all aspects of life. In business in particular I think the way in which we think about our “role” can have huge implications on our performance.
In reality we each have many different versions of ourselves. There is a very different version of Dominic when I am at home with my wife and daughter to the version of Dominic who turns up to serious negotiations. It is another Dominic again who takes the lead in the training room and even that version of Dominic adapts to the needs and energy of the delegates.
When we think of our “work role” then, imagine the impact if instead of just thinking about Key Competencies, Responsibilities and Duties we thought about which parts of ourselves we needed to “turn up” and which parts we needed to “turn down” in order to achieve our goals. What would happen if we consistently brought the version of ourselves that was most perfectly suited to the tasks at hand to the office with us every morning?
As any good actor will tell you, the process of creating a character begins with awareness. The actor needs to understand their own “character” before they can adapt and inhabit another. In the world of business then, our task is to develop a greater self-awareness in order to allow us to be flexible in our approach to the challenges that we face. Begin to notice your behaviour and you are half way to changing it. Once you know the options at your disposable you can then be much more targeted in how you deploy them!
What version of yourself would you benefit from bringing to work tomorrow morning in order to best fulfil your role? I’d love to hear your thoughts!
Keep shining!
Dominic
I’m really honoured to bring you this guest post from award winning author Jacky Fitt. Jacky and I met at the beginning of the year at an Institute Of Leadership and Management “Exceptional Trainer” event. I asked her to share her ideas on “online communication and engagement”. Here are her thoughts…
Website: String4You Ltd sells pink string.
Searcher: Great, I need pink string …
Website: String4You was established in 1984.
Searcher: Is your pink string sold in balls?
Website: The dedicated team at String4You are passionate about string.
Searcher: Really, is that all they have in their lives? I don’t actually feel anyone in the team is talking to me personally and I really need to know if your string is delivered next day.
Website: The string is manufactured in West Wittering.
Searcher: Yeah, yeah, whatever, is it rough or smooth because that worries me, oh, and can you colour match? I have a particular pink in mind…
Website: String4You – the gardeners’ friend!
Searcher: Wow, that’s old, we’re all knitting with it – when was this site last updated? And, by the way, I’m not a gardener…
Website: Buy our string!
Searcher: …
Website: Enjoy String4You’s easy pay plan!
Searcher: …
Website: Hello?
When you talk to your customers through your website it’s an intimate conversation.
Your reader is right there in front of you.
You have their attention.
But, not for long… On average if a website visitor doesn’t find what they want they will leave a web page within 10-20 seconds. Not long is it?
Don’t tell them what you think they want to know.
If you don’t know what’s important to them you don’t know them well enough and any conversation is going to be a short one.
Before you write your copy, make sure you know your customers. What kind of people are they? What kind of things do they like to do and what keeps them up at night.
Your home page needs to talk directly to them, one human being to another. The copy should reassure them that they are in the right place. It should attract and keep their interest, enough for them to delve further into the site.
Only then will you start a meaningful relationship that will profit you both.
How well do you know your customer?...
About Jacky:
Jacky Fitt is an award-winning author, editor and copywriter, her book ‘How to Get Inside Someone’s Mind and Stay There’ won the 2015 Small Business Book Community Choice Award for marketing. Jacky is Co director of The Big Ideas Collective creative agency and publishing imprint the Big Ideas Library.
Here in the UK we’re one week away from a General Election. Once every five years our politicians down tools for six weeks, leave the running of the country to the civil service and get out on the election trail, desperate to retain their seats and increase their party’s margin. Regardless of your political inclination this is a fascinating time and one where the ability of each party’s leader to connect with an audience can have massive implications for the future of the nation.
Back in 2010 the Liberal Democrat leader Nick Clegg delivered massive gains for his party following his performance in the country’s first ever live leadership debate and was praised for his ability to connect with the TV audience down the camera lens. The recent 7-way debate on Sky News was less of a game changer but from a performance perspective it highlighted the importance of authenticity. Whilst none of the leaders were able to land any killer blows, all of them had moments where they seemed truly connected and engaged with what they were saying. At these moments they shone. During others they appeared lacklustre at best. Tonight the leaders of the Conservatives, Labour and Liberal Democrats parties will take part in a special edition of Question Time. Who will stand out as authentic and who will be criticised for being “out of touch”? Only time will tell…
Whilst authenticity is increasingly seen as a must have quality in politics, it also has massive implications in a business context too. So what are the elements that make the difference between authentic and inauthentic and how can we apply them in the “real world”?
Connect To Your Subject Matter
It goes without saying that when we talk about things we are passionate about we are more engaged and more engaging. Often when I’m coaching I will ask a client to tell me about their kids or a recent holiday they went on and all of a sudden, the dull, lifeless person sitting in front of me becomes an animated ball of infectious energy! Their voice goes from flat to colourful and their gestures and body language come alive. Why? Because they care about what they are talking about. Our challenge when talking about work related topics is to find the thing that we connect with. If you challenge yourself you’ll always find something that resonates with you (or makes you angry) and this is the thing to focus on. When you connect to it you’ll be speaking from the heart.
Don’t Hide Your Emotions
People are often scared of emotions in a business context. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not suggesting for one second that you should aim to get teary-eyed or start shouting with rage. However, personal emotion is irrefutable and if it is used genuinely it can be extremely powerful. If you say “I feel really proud of what we have achieved” it’s very unlikely that anyone will challenge that sentiment. Instead your audience will actually feel a collective connection to you and you will instantly build rapport. Emotions, both positive and negative, make us human. They help us break down barriers with our audience and in our search for authenticity they help us to build trust.
Dare To Be Yourself
It’s all to easy to blend into the crowd but it’s more exciting to stand up and be counted. If you want to be remembered for what you say you have to be prepared to stand out. The word authentic and the word author have the same origin, coming from the Greek word authentikos meaning “original”. Ask yourself this question: Are your prepared to pick up the pen and write your own story? Or would you rather let someone else provide the narrative? “Fortune favours the brave” – It’s time to get authentic!
How do you authentically connect with your audience? What do the people that you trust have in common? I’d love to hear your comments in the box below.
Keep shining!
Dominic
Sunday night was an important night in the British Theatre calendar. Some of the biggest names is show-business gathered at London’s Royal Opera House for the 39th annual Oliver Awards, ready to celebrate the best performances, productions and stage craft of the previous twelve months.
One of the highlights for me was seeing arguably two of the worlds greatest living actors sharing the stage. After 10 years at the helm of the Old Vic Theatre, Kevin Spacey is standing down as Artistic Director. So who better to present him with an outstanding contribution award than the wonderful Dame Judy Dench? Watching these two amazing performers standing side by side, I was struck by the ease with which they held the entire audience in the palms of their hands. Without a shadow of a doubt this was a faultless display of “Star Quality”. So what exactly is it that made them so easy to watch and how can you or I get hold of some of the “fairy dust”?
Stay Present
The key to lighting up the stage (or the meeting room) is to be truly present. Just as the word suggests, presence is about being in the “here and now”. It’s one of the most popular topics that my clients ask for my help with and with some conscious effort it’s relatively simple to fix. We live in an incredibly busy world. Emails, text messages, phone calls, plus a million-and-one push notifications from our various social media channels, all compete for our attention. If we’ve just walked out of a bad meeting or know we have a difficult conversation coming up later in the day, sometimes it is very hard to shake those things off and focus on the task at hand. The best way to engage with your audience, whether from the stage or in a one-to-one situation is to make sure that you stay with them in the moment. Don’t allow your attention to wonder or allow other things to distract you. Taking a deep breath and finding a moment to pause before you start a new interaction are a great ways to ensure that you don’t carry your past, or your future into your present.
Care About Your Audience
Another word for “present” is “gift”. When we make the people we are talking to feel special, when we are generous, when we take the time to care, we instantly begin to develop “The X Factor” as a communicator. Human beings are very good a spotting a fake. If you don’t genuinely demonstrate respect for your audience (especially when delivering a difficult message) you instantly begin to loose rapport. What actors like Dench and Spacey do so well is make the audience feel comfortable and at home. We’re never worried about what they might say next. Instead we feel like we’re listening to an old friend, completely at ease and excited to hear what they have to say next. When you focus on yourself and forget about the people you are talking to, you instantly increase your own anxiety and alienate those listening. Shine your light on your audience instead and your “Star Quality” will be visible for all to see.
Enjoy Yourself
Whilst it’s sometimes easier said than done, enjoying your time in the limelight is vital if you want to be remembered as a star performer. That doesn’t mean you need to use “jazz hands” or crack lots of jokes. However, it’s a simple fact that if you are enjoying yourself, then your audience are much more likely to be enjoying themselves too. Enthusiasm is infectious! Great communication is a skill that can be learned and as with anything you want to master, targeted practice is vital. Many famous actors freely admit that whilst their performances appear effortless on stage or in front of the camera, in their private lives they are very shy and introverted. Look for opportunities to practice and to step outside of your comfort zone. The more you do it, the easier and more enjoyable engaging with an audience will become.
You don’t have to be an award winning actor to be have “Star Quality”. On a regular basis I am lucky enough to work with people from all walks of life who discover their power to excite and inspire. They touch the hearts and minds of their audience and their message has lasting impact. What steps do you need to take today so that you shine more brightly? I’d love to hear your comments in the box below.
Keep shining!
Dominic
It’s been a challenging start to 2015. In the first week of January my daughter was involved in a serious accident and we spent the next 10 days in the Paediatric Burns Unit at Pinderfields Hospital. Thankfully she’s making a great recovery and the treatment we received was excellent. But that’s for another post.
As difficult as the last few weeks have been, they have taught me many lessons. The most significant of which, I think, is the importance of staying flexible. As a family we have had to adapt and flex numerous times as the doctors and nurses have brought various developments and options to light. Just when we felt set on a course of action, a new choice would become available and we would have to weigh up the odds. I truly believe that our ability to remain open and flexible has guaranteed the best possible outcome for our daughter’s recovery and it has also made me realise just how vital this element of communication is.
Why is flexibility important?
When we are flexible in the way that we communicate, we are able to generate options. We are able to adapt to the signals and stimuli given to us by the audience we are communicating with and ultimately craft our performance so that it resonates more strongly with them. If we remain open when people challenge us and our way of thinking, if we truly listen, often we are able to come up with solutions where 1 + 1 doesn’t equal 2, it equals 3 or more! It’s what the late, great Steven Covey refers to in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People as “Win Win”. Imagine if in a negotiation scenario both parties could walk away feeling like they got an awesome deal. How much more likely would they be to do business with each other in the future? Flexibility isn’t just important in negotiation situations though, in any human interaction if we are able to see the possibilities rather than the problems then we create an environment for growth.
Flexibility in mind and body…
The ability to shift mentally is vital for effective communication but often overlooked is the importance of physical flexibility and the profound impact that this can have on our audience. If we are tense when we communicate or are physically held, we limit our ability to engage. We block our body’s unconscious efforts to mirror and match and we fail to build rapport. Audiences (of 1 or 1000) often interpret physical tension for nervousness or worse still think that the person talking has something to hide. Some simple stretching and mobilisation exercises, done in private, before you walk into a meeting or a high pressure situation can do wonders for your performance. It’s exactly what you’d find a company of actors doing 30 minutes before a show. The same goes for the voice too. A flexible voice that can hit a range of notes rather than being stuck on a monotone is so much more interesting to listen to. To achieve this, I suggest gently humming along to your favourite tune for two or three minutes. It’s a simple exercise that will start to warm the voice up and increase your range.
Remember, flexibility is free. It’s a choice. Practice it as much as you can – mentally, physically and vocally. It’s something that can have a massive impact and can improve the outcomes in many areas of you life.
Keep shining!
Dominic
As I sit here winding down for the holidays I’m struck by how much storytelling features at this time of year. Whether it is the Nativity, Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer or the ability of the latest gadget to improve our lives, stories abound. These powerful narratives have the ability to influence not only our emotions but also our actions. So it’s no great surprise that more and more businesses are thinking about the story of their brand and how they can communicate it to their customers.
Since human beings first walked the planet we have been telling stories to each other in order to educate and enlighten. Storytelling is a shortcut to connection. It engages the imagination of the audience and get’s them to place themselves in the picture. As you think back over the last twelve months what was the story that you told to your clients and stakeholders? And what new story do you want to write as we move into 2015? The next chapter is about to begin…
I wish you a joyful festive season and a happy New Year.
Keep shining!
Dominic
